Sea Lamprey 3D: You Have To Sea It To Believe It
From the makers of Piranha 3D, Catfish, and An Inconvenient Truth, comes the next big summer blockbuster!!
A sun-baked summer day at the Jersey Shore quickly turns terrifying when a group of sexy 20-something-year-olds spot a herd of creepy looking eel creatures. Big, muscular hunk AJ, TJ, or CJ tells the rest of his friends to chillax as there is nothing to be afraid of. They are just jellyfish he says as he tosses a frisbee/football/beer to his non-speaking-part friend. Later that night, drunk off of Jaegerbombs and his own manliness, he takes his hot hook-up partner Christi with an ‘i’ to the beach to get down to business in the surf.
Clothes are just being torn off when Christi feels something brush past her leg. AJ/TJ/CJ makes a dirty joke that it is “just him”, but then he feels it too. The camera smash-cuts to black as Christi screams and a snake jumps out of the water, teeth shimmering in the moonlight!!
The next day the remaining friends, still looking bikini fit despite multiple nights of heavy alcohol drinking, stride down to the shore early in the morning without any semblance of hangovers and find the police taping off a section of the beach. They get close enough and Christi’s BFF Nessa spots a piece of clothing Christi was wearing last night and breaks police protocol with no one noticing and runs to see the slain bodies of her two friends.
Enough time elapses so she can get visibly upset before the cops finally realize someone got past their rock-solid yellow tape barrier. They rush to her and cover the bodies again. Then a mustachioed older cop divulges more details about the deaths than any cop ever would. He then escorts Nessa back to her less-attractive, but still relatable male friend Steve. She tells him the cops believe they drowned and some birds got at them, but Steve knows better. Steve knows it was…the Sea Lampreys!!!!
Coming June 2013!!!
WAS IT NEW JERSEY POLLUTION??
OR WAS IT REVENGE?!?!?